Rethinking Friendship in the Era of Workism

A few years ago, I used to watch sitcoms that revolved around friendship themes such as How I Met Your Mother, New Girl, and The Big Bang Theory. I was captivated not only by the romantic storylines but also by the realistic portrayal of friendships and their enduring nature, even into old age.

This led me to contemplate the possibility of maintaining long-lasting and drama-free friendships as I entered my 30s. Fortunately, my circle of friends consists of individuals who are low-maintenance and drama-free, which has been a blessing.

Our friendships don’t rely on frequent meetings or constant communication. Since the pandemic began, we’ve hardly had the chance to see each other. I’ve missed important milestones in their lives, and our chats have become few and far between. Yet, whenever we do connect, it feels effortless, as if no time has passed at all.

Reflecting on the future, particularly the possibility of starting a family, I’ve looked to my parents as an example. They have never had friends outside of their marriage, relying solely on each other for companionship. Surprisingly, this seems to work well for them.

However, a YouTube video titled “The Friendship Recession” by Richard Reeves caught my attention, making me ponder the state of friendships in today’s world. Reeves emphasized the fundamental role of friendship in our overall well-being, highlighting that loneliness can be as detrimental to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Friendships are unique in their genuine and radical equality, lacking any sense of dependency or transactional nature. Unlike other relationships, friendships are built on shared interests, values, and experiences. They thrive on authenticity, mutual respect, and a deep understanding of one another.

In a world where traditional institutions are declining, friendships have become increasingly important as a source of social support and connection. As geographical mobility separates individuals from their homes and careers consumes excessive time and energy, friendships offer a sense of community, belonging, and flexible social connections.

Geographical mobility limits social networks, while parenting responsibilities leave less time for cultivating friendships. The prevalence of “works” places excessive emphasis on careers, leaving limited energy and time for social connections. Additionally, relationship breakdowns can fracture friendship groups formed as couples, further reducing social support.

Despite these challenges, what truly matters is expressing gratitude to our friends for being there in every significant moment of our lives. Whether we navigate the future with our families alone or continue to nurture our friendships, it is important to cherish and appreciate the support and companionship our friends provide.

In conclusion, maintaining long-lasting, drama-free friendships may present challenges, but the heartfelt gratitude we have for our friends who have journeyed with us is invaluable. So, to all my friends, I extend my deepest thanks for being there in every chapter of my life.